Not All Of What Follows Is True

A recurring journal of mixed veracity.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The opening monologue to my non-existent Edinburgh Fringe show about Chinese history

The main problem with doing a degree in Chinese is that it's very difficult to parlay into a career in stand-up comedy. People can manage bits of French or German - Eddie Izzard or Bill Bailey, for example - and I've even seen someone do a whole bit about using mathematical equations to deal with hecklers.

But it just doesn't work with Chinese. You do a Chinese gag and, well, let's try one:

I got into a London taxi the other day. I said "take me to Henan province!"
And the driver said, "Henan? That's south of the river, isn't it?"

... see?

Because, "Henan", right, literally means south of the... well, anyway.