Not All Of What Follows Is True

A recurring journal of mixed veracity.

Friday, December 29, 2006

The Wit of the Prophets

Pharaoh's wife spoke unto Moses, saying, "If you were my husband, I
would release an asp into your bedchamber at night."
Moses replied, "If you were my wife, I should clasp the serpent to my breast."

--

"I take my wife everywhere," said Abraham to the visitors. "Yet she
keeps coming back."

--

Then Daniel said to the king, "I am not afraid of death. I wish only
to be elsewhere when it happens."

--

Elisha returned to them, saying, "This very day I slew a lion wearing
only my sandals. Although why it was wearing my sandals, I know not."

--

The people of Nineveh decided to test Jonah. "How long should a man's
legs be?" they demanded.
"Long enough to reach the ground," replied Jonah.

--

Isaiah said to the people, "I flew here from Mount Sinai with a host
of angels. Boy, are my arms tired!"

--

But Jeremiah refused them all, saying, "I do not wish to dwell in any
city that would make me its citizen."

--

Elijah said, "Take my wife, please."

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