Not All Of What Follows Is True

A recurring journal of mixed veracity.

Friday, January 23, 2004

Bridget Jones: Vampire Slayer (by Steve Darlington)

Tuesday 22nd of Feb

8st 4 (must be post-angel stress), calories 12233 (post-angel-stress emergency snackage), cigarettes 7, vampires staked 3 (average), naughty thoughts about Angel coming back and sweeping me away 337 (v. bad), calls to Willow 14

Oh god. Saw Angel tonight while leaving bronze. Wanted desperately to kiss him and ask him to take me into his undead embrace so we might be forever lovers, but then would die and probably kill Willow and Xander and then have nobody to buy rounds. Angel left quickly, not even staying to flirt or threaten me. Clearly am so hideous not even attracting my stalker.

Called Willow to tell her about this but she was being smug-couple with Oz. Ditto Xander and Cordy. Am I destined to be only girl over seventeen without boyfriend?

Mother came in with icecream, old movies etc again. Told her her therapy no longer working. She said "well, then maybe you don't need this icecream then". Asked her what she meant. She said I should get more exercise. Must be hugely fat. So mad. Ate icecream in moody silence to teach her lesson.

Called Willow again, Oz gone home now. Willow said I'm not hideous, Angel just crazy psychopath with no rhyme nor reason to his mind games. Has point. Still, never wearing that orange top again.